Rule #1: Don't Panic

footprints at sandbanks - monica lacey 201

Yesterday I babysat the two young children of a good friend.  We had a pretty jam-packed day of activities, but in a quiet afternoon lull the three of us got to talking about swimming.  It turned out they didn't really understand floating, so I explained about the air in your lungs and so on.  Then they asked 'how come people sink sometimes?' and I explained the concept of panic to them, and how you stop breathing when you panic and then you won't float.  They thought about it and concluded that it was best, indeed, not to panic. 

It was a timely and interesting conversation for me to have with these wise little ones in my current in-between state of post-graduation, post-residency limbo.  An excellent reminder:  don't panic.  Okay.  There are so many things they don't tell you in art school, and maybe if they did tell you it would make you run the other way.  They don't tell you that if you open yourself to be authentic in your work that it will open you to feeling most everything around you.  They don't tell you how to deal with that or filter it.  They don't tell you that when you finish you will suddenly be in the middle of the ocean on a tiny ship with no map and no compass.  They certainly don't tell you that there is no map or compass.

This is the point where faith must kick in and be the water in which you can float.  Absolutely everything that has happened since I started down this path of dedicating myself to my art has been a clear validation that I am going the right way.  So I suppose I'll just continue and see where it goes, attempting to bludgeon my harsh inner critic into a submissive silence all the while.  Amazing that some people imagine the life of a working artist to be an easy one...but honestly, I can't imagine doing anything else.  :)

So, back to the drawing board.  Literally and metaphorically.  And trying not to get hopelessly distracted by the internet feeding me things like this and this and this.  Recently I went to see Beginners at the wonderful local rep cinema, City Cinema, here in Charlottetown.  It was a wonderfully cathartic film - at one point all you could here were quiet sobs in the theater, followed not long after by laughter.  It's all about starting over, and doing your best because it is always worth it to try.